That Scary feeling

Wow.. berabuk my blog... its has been awhile.. and so many things had happen to me.. First, I thought that 2015 will be a better year to me.... but I am still been tested with so many things in my life.

This happened in May 2015 btw..

With my recent termination with my company, with the so called RRP program they announced. Kind a expecting it,since my MC record was not so good, with all the hospitalization and stuff. Even they said nothing to do with my illness. But hey, come on, I have tried to put my self in their shoes. Company is not doing good with so many losses reported, and you need to get rid of people. Who will be the best bet? With me which will be mc's most of the time, and with no good account?(as what they refer?) or some fresh grads that they can pushes their asses to do most of the work, without any issue.

Yeah.. you know the answer.


Well, that is not my worst nightmare yet. Since, its feels like holiday, and I have got the payment for next 6 months in hand. The worst thing had just happened to me last week.

I had to do this MRI again, after last appointment with my Dr. azriff, on my latest progress on my tumor. Last time its has been static, with 1.9cm (almost 2) size of the tumor. After 1 and half month of not doing much, except for going to Darul syifa and drinking some alkaline water, my tumor has been increased to 3 cm now. It some how shows some progression on the tumor, with the possibility of the new spread on my left lymph nodes.

I was okay when Dr Azriff told me that, even its a bit hard to take, no doubt a surgery is required this time. And already get my mental ready for it. Then I went to Dr Tan at SJMC, which I have already plan to tell him, "okay doc let do it! Lets remove the uterus!Then another shocked thing happened. He did not want to do it, 1. Not so good margin as he said. 2. It will be more complex than before. 3. It will effect my bladder and I may not urine as usual?

He suggested to do chemotherapy instead, with no assurance if the tumor will be gone.  I was burst in tears after came out from the SJMC, and I know my hubby is devastated as well. Can see from the way he wants to barge in to doc Azrif clinic straight away. Hu hu..


End May 2015,

Tried to go for short break,, and nothing beats the feeling of seeing this 1 guy so enjoying his road trip.

With his favorite guy.. Acu Man

He tries to run away from the doreamon..hihi