Sahil - First Birthday

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Final Chemo & treatment for the Year!

My 6th and last chemo happened on the 1st week of December..

I am sooo a excited, all the mixed feeling, to think that this will be my final nightmare. I just can't wait to end all this. Whoever has gone through chemo period, knows how nightmare it is the whole experience. And I am all dressed up to celebrate the fact that all this will be over soon!

But its never being easy for me. At this very last session, my nurse break the news that my red count is so low, and I am not enough of iron? So, they don't want to proceed the chemo, until my oncologist said so. I was soo worried, if they said they have to postpone it. And I don't want to prolong my agony of these chemo experience. "Please Allah", I prayed, with non-stop reciting 1 part of ayat "La Ila ha Illa anta, Subhanakailmi, Kumtum minazzolimin" (Ayat to recite when you are in trouble).

Then doctor said, just proceed, seems physically I look all well. They will just have to take extra pre -caution later. Alhamdulillah.

The next day, I went again for some celebration for cancer patients..But to me its more like to celebrate my final treatment. Glad to see some familiar faces. And hope there will be more celebration to go. InshaAllah

The effect of final chemo is worst this time. (I guess, since immune system already at 0 level, so it will just make everything extra worst). Numbness, body ache, vomiting(something I never experience before this),and numbness until I can't feel my face. (until now in fact). And don't talk about hairs. Every single possible hairs on my body are all gone. I don't even have eye lashes now, and have to wear specs, to cover all dust that came through my eyes. But I do feels  my skin  soft and smooth, like a baby. They said that;s also the effects of chemo. (the only 1 good effect I guess).

And few days after the chemo, my husband fall sick. He got fever, lost appetite, body aching. I can sense its more like dengue. Keep telling him to drink more water, and my making and effort to do the papaya leaves juice for him. And yet, he don't drink it. And its all wasted. Hu hu hu.

Its has been long cuti for Selangor people.. Due to Sultan's Birthday and Selangor won the Malaysia Cup, and yet my whole weekend spent with back and forth to hospital. hu hu hu.

And soon after that, I fall sick. I guess because of me spending my time more in hospital, and with all germs and bacteria.. and with no defense system in my body,, of course..huhu

My cough sounds so bad, that people look at me scary.. and I really hope can get all recovered before my trip. My trip to where? Insha Allah I will reveal to you soon,, if all goes smoothly with Allah permit.

Till then.. Illalliqaaaa''''( See you soon)