Teringat tetiba..

Did I mentioned to you that not so recent ago, my real dad has been hospitalized, due to heart attack. When I first heard about this I was like ' hmm okay.. should I feel sad about it? macam tak dak perasaan la in away.

When people heard my first response, semua orang will think. Anak durhaka nya dia nih! or maybe, awat lagu tu cheq oit...

I have my own reason for this. First, I barely knew him, even though he is my biological father. I don't even have any single memory him being a father to me, since he left us when we are still young. I do remember, my 3rd brother like 2 months old like that. Since then, we lives on our own, with my mom, my late opah ,and aunties with us. So how do you expect to react to some one that you don't have any emotion intact with the person? I do feel sad and sympathy, but simpati macam kita dengar orang yang kita tak berapa kenal had their bad times. That's all.

This thing more towards  like some one can just come to you  and said " I am your father". Then you terus pose macam nak pengsan "Nooooooooo". Just like that la kan. haha

So, how do I react to this? I need some opinion. I heard he has been discharged, but dunno what is his condition after that. So, adakah perlu saya buat tidak tahu sajakah? Or how? 

Why I am a bit reluctant to see him? Coz I dun feel he likes me at all. Yeah, I can sense that when I was a kid. Till now. We had that mutual feelings of not liking each other. Can I say that? he he he. But true though. My aunties, mom, and all knows about this, when it comes to his favorite, it always his son.

2ndly, after that awkward meeting 5 years back with him. I am so not looking forward to see him. With his vulgar remarks about my mom, and his sister out of sudden talk about money and harta benda yang tak ada.(wth.. macam rupa pembolot harta kah daku ?).  But then again, he is still my father, even I don't see him, I always pray for Allah to forgive him. Should that be enough for now?