Teringat tetiba..

Did I mentioned to you that not so recent ago, my real dad has been hospitalized, due to heart attack. When I first heard about this I was like ' hmm okay.. should I feel sad about it? macam tak dak perasaan la in away.

When people heard my first response, semua orang will think. Anak durhaka nya dia nih! or maybe, awat lagu tu cheq oit...

I have my own reason for this. First, I barely knew him, even though he is my biological father. I don't even have any single memory him being a father to me, since he left us when we are still young. I do remember, my 3rd brother like 2 months old like that. Since then, we lives on our own, with my mom, my late opah ,and aunties with us. So how do you expect to react to some one that you don't have any emotion intact with the person? I do feel sad and sympathy, but simpati macam kita dengar orang yang kita tak berapa kenal had their bad times. That's all.

This thing more towards  like some one can just come to you  and said " I am your father". Then you terus pose macam nak pengsan "Nooooooooo". Just like that la kan. haha

So, how do I react to this? I need some opinion. I heard he has been discharged, but dunno what is his condition after that. So, adakah perlu saya buat tidak tahu sajakah? Or how? 

Why I am a bit reluctant to see him? Coz I dun feel he likes me at all. Yeah, I can sense that when I was a kid. Till now. We had that mutual feelings of not liking each other. Can I say that? he he he. But true though. My aunties, mom, and all knows about this, when it comes to his favorite, it always his son.

2ndly, after that awkward meeting 5 years back with him. I am so not looking forward to see him. With his vulgar remarks about my mom, and his sister out of sudden talk about money and harta benda yang tak ada.(wth.. macam rupa pembolot harta kah daku ?).  But then again, he is still my father, even I don't see him, I always pray for Allah to forgive him. Should that be enough for now?

Salam Ramadhan and Happy Bday!

Alhamdulillah.. it is 7th day of Ramadhan, and last week on 11th July was my birthday! Happy 18th bday to me! hahaha ( I am seriously dun even remember how was my 18th Bday like)

1st of all, I am sangat-sangat bersyukur with what I have now. Good life, di berikan kesihatan yang baik, anak yang sihat dan comel, suami yang tersayang, and family who always there for me, esp my mama, and adik-adik tersayang, tak lupa jugak to babah. Nothing else you can asked for, except for continues happiness in our family life, and semoga di murah rezeki and diberkati dunia akhirat.



I am starting my Ramadhan with new resolution, and may Allah bless my journey to be a better muslim. Why I decided to take hijab seriously? I have been wanting to do long time ago, but I want it to do it slowly, and confidently. Meaning I want to do it with my full heart, and not some one force me to do it, but I need to understand it myself fully. My journey to made me realized about the beauty of being a good muslim started towards this ESQ session that I had previously 2 years before. Since then, I had quietly transforming myself internally, before decided to make the change.


 For all this while, I have been such a brat and not dedicated muslim. Dan banyak dah la kejahilan lampau yang dibuat, and yet Allah always give me chance and never neglected His servant, despite of me like that. What ever I have doa and pray to Him , he will grant it., and will give me what I have deserved, in very unique way. Like why I dun get what I have wanted, but He gave me with something much better and makes me appreciate it so much.



For example, my son. People knows how I was longing for a child to bright up our lives. And has been praying for it since my marriage. I pray with all the effort to have a baby, and at 1 point, I have giving it up, not because I don't trust in Him, but we have separated due to my hubby migration to Europe for new job. So, with that situation,  I met hubby every 6 months, and who have thought that God works His miracle that I have conceived my baby, during that short visit. Of course with the effort of taking care of my diet, and take some supplement to support my hormon imbalance problem. But who can deny it and tell its not part of the miracle. I remember in the Quran verse in Surah Yassin of saying Kun Fa ya Kun ((“Jadilah!” maka terjadilah ia”.)  Sesungguhnya keadaan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berkata kepadanya.


Eh.. ter ceramah lak di bulan Ramadhan nih. Yeah, I just want to share how I felt for all these while. Especially nowadays, every day I looked to my son ,feeling grateful and syukur sangat. Aku tidak lah sekaya mana, tapi setiap nikmat yang diberikan tu, sangat bernilai for me. Just to hear my son gigle and laughed loudly pun merupakan satu nikmat. Looking at him while he is asleep pon nikmat.  My son is already a gift to me, and I believed to each of my family. Its like God has wrapped this gift nicely, and put a ribbon to him and handed over to us.  So for this birthday, I wish that I will be better as a person, who loves her God, Rasul  and family. And wish me to have prosperous and great year ahead with more riqz from Allah. Thank you.

Thank you sayang!

Thank you Allah for this beautiful things in my life

Hidup Segan Mati Tak Mau..

Adohai blog aku ni.. hidup segan mati tak mau je.. Sometimes it just so many things inside your head yang you nak story mori kan.. But end up berkubur camtu je..


First of all.. Ramadhan is coming.. excited tapi cam stress a bit sebab I think i sempat nak mengganti.. huhuhuhu.. Got like 4 days remain.. haih.. mana yang termampu lah nyeh.. (I have told myself that).. Jawab nya fidyah+ ganti lah nanti if tak sempat...

Secondly, we have survived the haze attack yang melanda Malaysia last few weeks.. memang kalu kat area Shah Alam/Subang ni dah considered hazardous dah.. with the IPU yang dah cecah 291.. hazab sangat.. sampai 1 tahap tetiba teringat kan citer2 hollywood about all this doomsday coming in.. and tetiba terasa some of the scenery cam sama lak.. (banyak sangat tibi ).  so bila mai hujan ..memang terasa sangat rahmat nya sampai sujud syukur mak hokay... he he he

View from Office.. tak nampak apa langsung!

And some small update about my lil' baby.. today his 9th months old. Happy 9th months sayang! I am soo happy to look at him grinned at me.. with his baru nak tumbuh sebatang gigi.. Sangat super active.. Kalu nak tukar nappies ke..tukar baju ke.. berhempas pulas mcm nk buat roti canai kekdah nya.. then dah feeling nk berjalan sangat.. takat menyusur all the way to bedroom and kat hall tu dah jadi his routine dah.. He loveeeesss to eat..and very adventurous..semua nak try.. hari tu dah ter makan pedas sekali.. terkulat- kulat muka tu..sambil nangis.. huhu.. sian anak ammi!

Happy 9th months!

Baru sebatang gigi shaye..

Okay uols.. thats all for now.. Hope I will rajin to update after this..

Ciao..

Demam Bermusim...

Lately keadaan cuaca sini sangat unsangkarable.. Kejap panas, kejap-kejap kang sejuk.. On off on off cam tu.. So bila dah weather pon main cak-cak camtu.. demam batuk sore throat all datang menyinggah. Started with my mom.. then melarat ke baby. Baby bila demam tahu je la..tak leh tidor di buat nya. Then terkena kat on mepulak.. dah demam masa weekend hari tu.. Now tinggal batuk yang tak reti-reti nak hilang nih.. tolongggg...

And lately I just realized tinggal 49 days before Ramadhan! and I still have 12 days puasa yang x berganti.. hu hu hu.. So today I start puasa, but with my bad sore throat and coughing, I hope I can get through the day... Ameen.

1st holiday with lil Payo..

We had a short break for last weekend, and 1st time us together as a family..me, hubby and baby at PD. We had so much fun, since this is our 1st time holidaying... and a lots of fun to see my lil baby had great time at the pool. Suka betul dia main air.

Before reach Ilham Resort, we stop at the famous Teluk Kemang  beach for makan. Nice jugak kedai hujung tu. Gulai lemak cili api dia mmg kick lah!


Then we headed to Ilham.. terus change and dip ourself into the pool.

Sahil melayan perasaan.. :D

Muka lepas pool session

my baby slept early.. kepenatan sangat kot..

me and hubby had our dinner , from restaurant till the resort pengsan! and mmg takde buat perangai langsung..memang dia pun pandai amik mood holiday..

Us!

The next day kak dhiya and her mommy n daddy came to join us, since apartment at ilham resort tu pon besar. Got like 3 rooms. Then sambung lagi dipping and swimming..

Kak dhiya n Sahil

Excited sgt tu..

Si kecik ammi, and kak dhiya bukan main lagi melayan tab ammi ji.. hehehehhehe

Macam la paham dak tecik tu..

Then the next day, had our breakfast nasi lemak bungkus, and we headed back to KL. Thats all.. sweet and simple, but so memorable to us.

Throwing Tantrum

Yeah...

Yesterday my son giving such a tantrum to the whole family.. from his omma (my mom), his aunt and me..
Its started when he don't want to take milk using bottle (yeah.. 2 days in a row natural feed) so he being so cranky when mom try to feed him.. struggle sungguh.. I noticed this happened every Monday. (as my friend said, my baby also got Monday Blues)

Then when my sis in law came and try to have play time with him.. things became worst.. until the time I came back from work.. then only he quite for little while. Then when we were at home.. he started again.. he screamed his lungs out (which I thing just recently he got that) ..and scream and scream out loud. At that time I just recite anything inside my mind, like al-fatihah and few surah..to calm him, and to calm me also.
Then slowly he became a bit better.. and suddenly started to giggle and some how asked me to have play time with him? Seriously I don't understand this little creature. In fact I manage to capture the video of him playing.


Then he started again.. gosh.. I decided that's it. I closed light, and put him and myself to bed. Still struggling, macam wrestling gitu. Feeding and yet kicking and punching all the way. Haih anak.. I continue with singing lullaby islamic version to make him calm, then he fall asleep.

Oh God, its made me think about what my mom and all mothers in this world had to go through.. just for their babies. (Dah besar panjang pon still baby in mom's eyes).. Dulu-dulu memang takkan faham the feeling.. now I really feel you ma.. Start from preggy up to now.. And of course if can you want to give the best..what ever you can to ur child. To people out there, jangan la nak melawan-lawan ibu ok? I beg you guys out there, kalau terasa nak melawan cakap tu, at least take a glance and think apa yang kita nak cakap tu will hurt her feelings or not.

P.s : I love u maaaa....

Happy New Year 2013!

Happy New Year!

Dah 7th Jan, baru terasa nak tulis entry pasal New Year? I am so 1 week late.. pelissssssh.. Tak abis2 perangai pelupa and procrastinate I tuh..

Anyways, before that I wanted to say syukur 1000 x, by what I have been through so far for 2012. It has been a great journey. Firstly, I never thought in million years I will become a mother in 2012. Never cross in my mind that my 1 great wish will become true in 2012. And it feels great! I have been wishing that since my marriage in 2009, and know it became a bit hard as me and my hubby being apart for awhile since he was away from me, yeah 5000km apart! But Allah is the Greatest! He have better plan for me and hubby, and with His power and ketentuanNya, my wish came true. I cried and very grateful from the 1st day I found out I was pregnant, until now. Sangat mengakui dan meyakini kebesaranNya, yang Dia akan memberi apa yang diminta. And all we have to do is just ask(and of course with usaha). And kita pula jangan bersangka buruk if Allah tidak memberi atau belum lagi memberi, apa yang di minta. Sebab, hanya Dia yang mengetahui kesediaan kita menerima sesuatu itu.

Alhamdulilah..Tq Allah

All the pregnancy journey, and with hubby coming back for good, made 2012 became a great year after all. Now its 3 of us, to continue to live together, and hope that 2013 will bring more great things, happiness and joy to me and my family. I don't wish for great things, just hope that we will continue living happily together as family, and may Allah bless us with rezeki yang halal. I am hoping to earn more, so that my lil payo have a chance to live comfortably for his year to come.. InsyaAllah.


Lil payo : our nick name to our son. He he he..