My chemo diaries - Part 1

I have to keep this, on the side effects of the chemotheraphy. Need to keep track on this, just in case.I need to understand how my body works on coping with the side effects of the chemotherapy.

1st day(Friday 31st July to Tues 04th Aug)- Side effect fatigue, constipation not feeling like myself, body aching, joint pain,can't control bladder

6th day (Wed) - Thurs - Side Effects : Fatigue, diarrhea, sweating excessively, joint pain, body aching, rashes, tingling feeling on the fingers and feet, nerve pain

8th day(Friday) - Tingling feelings on fingers and feet. sweating excessively, joint pain, diarrhea

Overall, it's a painful experience. To think of it. Up to the level I asked Allah to have mercy on me..As sometimes the pain is too much. Feels like dying.I will feel a bit better in the morning, and had all that painful effects later in the evening, and will continue till night. I thought the operation pain is worst, but this is beyond everything. Just imagine you have all the effects at the same times, nausea, sweating, diarrhea, fatigue, nerve pain, joint pain and the best you can do is to eat pain killer or try to sleep. And make it worst when you still working after taking your chemo. You try as much as you can to be normal.. but your body just can't take it sometimes. Few times I felt when tried to walk slowly to the surau, and try to grasp my breath. I thought I will be strong this time, since this is not the first time I had the chemo done. But woo.. it is not. Its too much to take. I asked Allah to put ease on it. Please Allah..make me strong. I am almost give up on my work few days back..and to the level that I asked Allah to take me pls. Tak tahan sangat. But after I cried, and asked for forgiveness, I felt a bit better. After you being sick, you appreciate all small things that you never think of before. Macam nikmat untuk berjalan macam biasa, nikmat tidor tanpa rasa sakit, Allah betapa kita terlepas pandang benda sekecil ini.. Ampuni aku Ya Allah