My Crappy Story..: My Chemo Diaries - Part II & Papa Birthday Celebration

Friday 4 September 2015

My Chemo Diaries - Part II & Papa Birthday Celebration

Alhamdulillah, despite things that happened to me that made me have to postpone my chemotherapy for 2nd round, I had recovered well this time. I have very bad fever a day before the scheduled chemotherapy. And the next day, before the chemo start, they have to stop me from continuing the chemotheraphy, as my fever keeps coming back, and it's around 39-40 all on and off. A lot of chaos that weekend, rush to emergency, and Payo also not so well, diarrhea and vomiting, (and he vomits in the new car! and up to the level I have to hold his vomit with my hand). Kereta boleh cuci.. anak sakit? huhuhu.. I am so worried, with me myself not well, and him too. Oh ya..by the way, I am totally bald, like totally no hair. Its felt like so easily this time. Tarik je abis gugur.. And tak tahu lah bila nak tumbuh balik this time. Macam takde harapan nak ada rambut je..huhu

Cucuk Sana cucuk sini

Muka tahan sakit.. huhu

Now I feel that I understand well on my body, the reaction, and stuffs. Now I feel a bit in control. Or maybe the 1st time chemo, its a bit shocked and overwhelmed a bit, to have all this drugs destroying your good and bad cells. And I foresee that Allah never failed to answer our prayers. Seriously, some of the times that I can't take it, and he will grant you the wish. He makes me thinks of ways to made me understand my body better, and I am in control. And sometimes its out of hand cause you know you shouldn't take certain things, but still stubborn, and you've to deal lah with the consequence. I remember this words from friend of mine, who are in the same situation as mine. She said "Anura, masa ni awak mintaklah kat Allah what ever you wants, cause we are in a special state that ALLAH will listen to you, and grant your wish". I hold that words. And Alhamdullilah, I see all the blessing. Like being sick, but never feel so calm. I am more calm that how I used to. Tak rasa runsing, I take every single moment as a blessing in my life. And not to worries over small things.

Just some highlight of what happened yesterday. (03rd Sept)

Birthday Papa. Nothing much, some small celebration from me and Payo. Takde plan apa-apa pon. But turn out to be short and sweet. Buy hubby cake and gift, and we went for dinner at his new found favorite place. #sheeshmahal All in all, we are blessed, despite of all the challenges that we have been through. Doakan semoga kebahagiaan ini berterusan.. Inshallah.. Ameen

By the way, muka macam nampak sihat..but before that I was feeling so unwell.. Chemo effect buat hal sangat. I can't walk properly, sweating macam hape..and I took the time and take rest. Nasib okay.. (But Papa punya pasal..tahan je lah).

AmmiSahil